After Believing in God, I Find the Right Way to Educate My Children
In 2009, I got married and left China to live with my husband in Malaysia. Because the strange circumstance made me lonely, I seldom went out. A year later, I had my first daughter and tasted the happiness of being a mother. Looking at the baby in my arms, I told myself that she was my whole expectation, and that I would love her, bring her up, and make her grow happily. Later, I had my second daughter and youngest daughter. Despite hiring a nanny, I still did many things myself. Sometimes when my daughters were ill and wanted to eat porridge, even if I was dizzy that I didn’t want to get up, I still would cook the most nutritious porridge for them. Afterward, I taught them to sing, speak a foreign language, and paint. In particular, my eldest daughter liked playing the piano and the teacher also said she was a natural at the piano, so I specially spent $10,000 R.M. buying a Japanese piano for her, hoping she could cultivate her interest.
As growing up little by little, they became somewhat willful and difficult. For example, they liked eating ice cream. Because I was afraid that eating too much ice cream would make them catch a cold or have sore throats, I didn’t let them eat that, and then they would cry and scream. At meals, they three often chased each other. It made me so angry that I bawled at them to sit down to have their meals. What made me even angrier was my eldest daughter’s behavior. I spent MYR 10,000 buying the piano for her, but she always loved having fun. When I didn’t watch her, she would not practice. Thus, I often snapped at her by this. Gradually, my kids thought I was scary, and were unwilling to get close to me. But when my husband got home from work, they would run to him and even complain to him that I had rebuked them. Seeing this scene, I was even more heartbroken. I also wanted to treat them well, but it was no use lecturing and beating them, so what could I do? I hoped they could regard me as a good friend instead of treating me like this.
One day, after taking them home, I asked them to drink some water, take a shower, and then play the piano. When I cooked up, they still were playing, turning a deaf ear to my words. I was so angry that I beat my eldest daughter, hitting her and yelling: “I’ve spent so much money letting you learn the piano, but why are you so worthless? I’m so busy every day, and where can I find so much time for being with you?” Later, although she sat down to play the piano in tears, she looked at me with a rebellious expression. I sat behind her and watched her, involuntarily being in tears. At the thought of her expression, I was worried and sad, because I feared that she would be rebellious in the future, but I just didn’t know how to educate my kids well.
In June of 2016, I went back to China with my second daughter. My sister preached the gospel of the kingdom of Almighty God to me and told me that only Almighty God’s work in the last days can purify and transform us, and that as long as we practice according to God’s words, we can live out a normal humanity. Because at that time I didn’t have much knowledge of Almighty God’s words, I doubted in my heart: Can Almighty God’s words improve the relationship between my daughters and me? Because of time, I returned to Malaysia soon. After returning, I contacted the brothers and sisters of the Church of Almighty God and lived a church life.
Afterward, through attending meetings and reading God’s words, I had a little knowledge of the fact that Satan corrupts us humans. After being corrupted by Satan, we have satanic corrupt disposition. When we live based on it, we become more and more arrogant and self-righteous, and don’t have a bit of normal humanity. Besides, there isn’t a normal relationship even between parents and children. According to the needs of us corrupted people, in the last days, Almighty God expresses the truth of saving and transforming us. So long as we put God’s words into practice, we can be freed of our corrupt disposition and get along with each other normally. Then I often prayed to God to change me. However, after a period of time, I found that I still often got angry involuntarily. I was troubled: When can I have a change? Thereupon, I fellowshiped with the brothers and sisters about my confusion and difficulty, “Sister, I’m very troubled. I hope to speak heart-to-heart with my kids just like friends without barriers. But they often are disobedient. Every time when I reason with them patiently, if they still are disobedient, I will reprimand or beat them. I want neither to be angry, nor to beat or yell at them, but I really have no idea what to do.”
A sister fellowshiped with me, “It’s natural for parents to educate children, but we often educate our children with a kind of corrupt disposition — beating, yelling or being angry to rebuke them. These all are dominated by our intentions. God’s words say, ‘Regardless of whether one becomes angry in the sight of others or behind their backs, everyone has a different intention and purpose. Perhaps they are building up their prestige, or maybe they are defending their own interests, maintaining their image or keeping face. Some exercise restraint in their anger, while others are more rash and flare up with rage whenever they wish without the least bit of restraint. In short, man’s anger derives from his corrupt disposition. No matter what its purpose, it is of the flesh and of nature; it has nothing to do with justice or injustice because nothing in man’s nature and substance corresponds to the truth’ (‘God Himself, the Unique II’). God’s words reveal the root of our anger. That we become angry is to control children, and let them listen to us and do according to our wills. When they disobey us, in order to maintain our identities, status and image, we’ll get angry involuntarily. Besides, because they impinge our face or benefits, or because their not studying well in school makes us lose face before teachers, we’ll become angry to express our dissatisfaction. Well, no matter what the cause is, it is hot blood and naturalness. In fact, God expresses His words mainly to transform our satanic disposition, but not to prohibit us from educating kids. If children do something wrong, we should discipline them, but we can’t rely on our corrupt disposition to do so.”
Not until I listened to sister’s fellowship did I understand. It turned out that God wanted to transform my corrupt disposition, but didn’t let me have no temper. However, I always focused on the outward actions, because I thought a good man shouldn’t be angry, but be always patient and calm in all things. Thinking back, I always was angry because my children turned a deaf ear to my words. Besides, because I wanted them to fear me, I would lecture them so as to make them listen to me. Sometimes the teacher said my daughter didn’t study hard on the piano. I considered that I had spent so much money, time and energy on educating her, while she not only didn’t study hard, but also lost my face, which made me even angrier. At the time, I knew that the reason I got angry was that I wanted to build up my prestige before them. Furthermore, it was because they had impacted my interests and face that I released my corrupt disposition and always used my status to lecture them. All of these were the result of Satan’s corruption of me. Having understood these all, I began to pray to God and asked Him to change me so that I wouldn’t live based on my corrupt disposition.
One day, I asked my daughter if she had finished her piano homework and she said she had. However, I found she hadn’t yet when I checked. Seeing she not only didn’t do her homework just for playing, but also told a lie, I was very angry, shouting at her: “You never take my words to heart, do you?” Seeing that I was going to get mad at her, she hastened to do her homework. When I saw her behavior, I realized that I had revealed my corrupt disposition again. Then I hurried to pray to God to keep me so that I could talk to her calmly. After praying, my heart quieted down. I remembered that she would have a math test the next day, and I asked how her revision was going. She told me she had prepared well and could solve addition problems, but when I gave her sums to do, she got the wrong answer when doing two digit plus one digit addition. At that moment, I couldn’t bear it anymore, “You dared lie to me. Didn’t you say you have prepared for the test? Why couldn’t you solve two-digit addition problems? What’s the matter?” Then, she did figures as she wept, but she couldn’t give the right answer all the time. Still I couldn’t help beating her at last. Then I came to my bedroom, sitting on the bed with no strength. Recalling that she gave me a glare when she was crying, I felt bad. Thus, I knelt down to pray to God, “God! Now I feel miserable. I really regret what I did. Why couldn’t I calmly speak with my daughter? Oh, God! I beg for You to tell me what I should do to get along with my kids.”
Afterward, I saw God’s words say, “Many might well believe in God, and in appearance they look very spiritual, but as how to treat their children, and as to how children are to treat their parents, they do not have a clue in their views and attitudes how to put the truth into practice in these cases, and what principles should be applied in treating these matters and dealing with them. … Actually it’s simple. Just be an ordinary person: Treat your children, treat those in your own family the same as you would an ordinary brother or sister. Although you have a responsibility, a fleshly relationship, nevertheless the position and perspective you should have is the same as with friends or ordinary brothers and sisters. That is, you can’t control, you can’t restrain your children, and always try to keep in command and have complete control over them. Let them make mistakes, let them say the wrong things, let them do childish and immature things, do stupid things. No matter what happens, sit down and calmly talk with them, communicate and seek. Don’t you think this attitude is good? Isn’t it right? So, what is being let go here? (Position and pride.) It is the letting go of the position and status of a parent, the airs of a parent, and all of the responsibility one thinks they should assume, everything that one thinks they should be doing as a parent; instead, it’s enough that one does the best they can in terms of their responsibility as an ordinary brother or sister” (“What Should One Possess, at the Very Least, to Have Normal Humanity”).
Almighty God’s words showed me the direction. My daughters and I all are creatures and the people corrupted by Satan. I shouldn’t always assumed the status as a parent to restrain them, let them listen to me in all things, and ask them to achieve the standards that I required. This was a sign of irrationality. I should treat my kids as my friends, and use the truth I understood to guide them and to tell them what actions are right and what actions are wrong. Even if they couldn’t change in a short time, I should understand them, for we all will involuntarily do something wrong after being corrupted by Satan. Having understood God’s will, my heart suddenly was liberated.
At breakfast the next morning, when I added food for my eldest daughter, I felt guilty in my heart, and she also looked at me with an aggrieved eye. Therefore, I silently prayed to God in my heart, “Dear Almighty God, may You lead me and help me to humble myself.” After praying, I held her hands, saying, “Ziyi, yesterday, I lost my temper and beat you again. It was mom’s fault. Forgive me. I want to tell you I’m sorry.” Then I told my children how Satan corrupts man and how God saves us. After hearing that, my eldest daughter held my hands, and said to me with tearful eyes: “Mom, it was my fault, too. I shouldn’t just want to have fun without doing my homework, and even lied to you. In the future, I will also rely on God to defeat Satan so that it can’t distract me from studying hard.”
Later, I saw the Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life says, “Now, many parents ask, ‘What can I bring to my children? What can I prepare for them?’ Tell me, what should a parent prepare? To make children walk on the right path of life — this is the best and the most fundamental. If you don’t have the truth, no matter how much wealth you give your children, it can’t solve the problems of human life. That’s because if they don’t walk on the right path, at last they will be destroyed and have no good destination. So, a man who has the truth will not only prepare a good destination for himself but bring infinite benefit to his children and relatives around him” (“The Value and Significance of Seeking the Truth”). Thinking back, when I was young, I liked singing and dancing very much, and I did have a talent for it. However, my parents didn’t nurture my talent. Thus, I put my hope on my daughters, expecting they could achieve something. When they were disobedient and didn’t work hard according to my requirements, I would discipline them. Because I didn’t have the truth, what I brought to them was all control over and harm to my kids. Then I thought of my second sister. In order to send her son to a good university, she worked hard to make money. Finally, her son got into a famous university, but became very selfish. He didn’t understand his mother’s hardship but thought it was natural that his mother earned money to support him. Now I finally knew: After being corrupted by Satan, what we most need is truth, and only truth can teach us how to be a man, and how to live our life. Without God, no matter what a high level of education we have, or how much money we have, that isn’t the true human life. Only when we understand the truth and live according to God’s requirements can we truly be happy. In the following days, I didn’t force my daughters but let them follow the course of nature. I told them, “Since we believe in God, we should do in accordance with God’s words. God likes us to be honest, so we cannot tell lies. And God dislikes those children who lie.” When I taught them like this, they really had some changes. In the past, when they broke the brushes, if I asked who did that, they three would shift the blame from one to another, while now they would actively admit that. Before, when they did something wrong, I would ask them and then they would bow their heads in silence, but now they would say the whole story to me carefully. What surprised me most was another thing. One day, my husband and I took our daughters to the playground. There was a game restricted to those over 3. Our little daughter was three years old, but she was taller. So I discussed with my husband and pretended she was four years old. Hearing my words, my second daughter said, “God asks us to be honest. You can’t tell a lie, and God can hear that.” Then she ran to the ticket seller to tell him that her little sister was only three years old. Seeing her deeds, I was really shameful. In the past, no matter how I asked her not to lie, she always couldn’t remember. But when I brought her before God, she could keep God’s words in mind. I really was grateful to God, and I also had experienced God’s words truly has so much authority.
Now, my daughters and I often get together to pray to God, watch dance and song videos, and sing and dance to praise God. Gradually, our conversations are getting better, and I seldom rebuke them. We get on well. Sometimes, owing to the great pressure of work, my husband will lose his temper to me. Once, when my daughters saw that, they said, “Almighty God that mom believes in is good. Mom has changed a lot. Mom used to shout at you first, but now you shout at mom.” Hearing their words, tears in my eyes, I was full of gratitude for God. I never dreamed that it could have such an effect on my children when I put a bit of truth into practice. Along the way, I truly realize that only God’s words are the truth, which can make us live out the normal humanity, and that no one can transform us except God. Thank Almighty God for helping me realize my dream that my daughters and I could break the boundary between us to get on like friends happily. All the glory be to Almighty God!
Source: Walk in the Light
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